Tuesday, October 09, 2007

ladaridaa..

My hands are itchy right NOW... And as we all know in Philippine tradition its either u will SPEND money or u'll EARN money.. [well i don't know which hand says which..] moving on.. yes! my hands itch because of MONEY and at the same time I WANNA WRITE... i really do.. and i guess i've blogged about it in here ALL the time and now i am so obsessed that Im blogging it here too.. grrr.. >:( ANYWAY... i just want to WRITE... freakin WRITE... [i guess ur thinking u're writing already idiot! what more do you want..] haha! i want to write something that is WORTHY OF READING.. or am i just to dramatic... *sigh* i wanna! i wanna! i wanna! [shut up u BRAT!] =)
***
I still have the FEVER.. the La Salle and Pacquiao FEVER.. =) i am so happy because it's another VICTORY for us Pinoys.. happy happy happy! MABUHAY... ANIMO! =D
***
now i feel sad.. not because im sad.. [got it?!] i feel bad for somebody.. i love you! i read ur blog.. no matter what they do we will ALWAYS LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT... =( u made me realize something and im thankful for that.. =)
***
im all mixed up.. i so AM. and i think its all because of the fact that i've been thinking alot.
i've always wondered how it feels like being the ultimate "hot-chick"..
then i'll realize IM HAPPY with my life but not how i LIVE it..
suddenly, something will pop up then make me have another reality-check..
zapping me back to my what i SHOULD really feel..
then i'll be KO'd of consciousness.
and then im GONE... =(

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Posted by mia at 11:17:00 PM

Thursday, October 04, 2007

=)

i miss my friends...
i wanna go out..
i am BORED..

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Posted by mia at 7:49:00 PM

Sunday, September 02, 2007

being impulsive..

I am impulsive.. i must admit the fact that i've made decisions in my life that i thought was "cool" only to end up flat on my face... =) BUT i'll never grow tired of being impulsive.. i guess i just made the wrong recognition when it comes to my guts.. hah! i am trying to be more RESPONSIBLE and more SENSITIVE with how i should react or handle things.. =) im being optimistic [i think that is better =)]
****
right now, i miss my college buddies... the ones who are really dear to my heart.. = it sucks knowing that there will come a day when all u'll be is another face in a crowd... all the memories are clouded by the reality that you have separate lives now, and new friends to mingle with... ;( i know its too dramatic but heck! i feel so dumb not being ready for this kind of reality... i guess i was too confident on the whole "friends forever" thing... anyway, that's life... hah!
****
i miss my dream guy.. =D haven't seen him in months! GAWD.. where the hell are you.. come back to me.. NOW! hahaha =D

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Posted by mia at 9:49:00 PM

Monday, August 20, 2007

adios.

after all this time, FINALLY iam able to update my blog.. wheeew! things have definitely changed and im very much willing to move forward... =) i came into a point in my life wherein I HAVE TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT I CAN BE GOOD AT... [too vague?! GOOD] i never really thought that i could really give up something that i've always dreamt of having and pursuing... i'll definitely MISS the feeling... i know that i came across a point in my life wherein i really made a MY OWN DECISION.. I'll surely miss everything.. = maybe someday i'll be able to stay...
GOODBYE.. =(

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Posted by mia at 8:17:00 PM

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

wishFULL thinking...

we're currently concentrating on our PST.. [sigh] hopefully we all get to pass this challenge.. i have my sights on WHAT I WANT... weeee! hopefully i'll be able to reach that goal in time.. =) I've never had this kind of drive in my life EVER, i guess sometimes if we really set our minds into something, we can sure hope a lot from our ownselves... =) Though iam quite scared coz I don't know if i will be able to really DO it.. BUT! i KNOW.... SOMEDAY... i'll make my dream come TRUE... haha
IAM COMING.. hahahahaha =)

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Posted by mia at 8:00:00 PM

Friday, July 06, 2007

check in..

I am now able to say that my Makati experience is FUN.. [coz if I failed I would sing a different tune.. haha] anyway, as I said I am really happy that I was able to pass CCT and may 2 week stay in Makati was all worth it! =) As of today, my wavemates and myself have transferred to Alabang and it's our 4th day in CVG alabang. Another challenge is up ahead and its our evaluations for PST.. *sigh* I hope i'll do good... =
This past few weeks has been very stressful for me... I kept thinking bout my status in CCT, lack of sleep, drain from all the thinking I have to do all day and all the 'commotions' that happened.. Though its actually fun knowing that there is always 'something new' to talk about every morning.. [haha!] =) I've seen quite a few antics that please me and tick me off as well.. A sure proof that people are sometimes funny to watch.. I am no hypocrite that sometimes I feel a little off with some of my wavemates but I don't hold it against them coz that's how they are. I AM IN NO POSITION TO BE A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE... and I do admit I am irritated by some but NOT ALL.. and YES! i also love some but not ALL.. and YES! I ENJOY THEIR COMPANY.. ALL OF THEM.. =)
Diversity is evident in my wave.. We've come from different walks of life and YET we found similiraties from each other's respectives lives.. it is a small world.. its just how u look at it [world/life] that makes it different.. I will never understand the complexities of life BUT i'll try to LIVE with this complexities.. =D
I LOVE LIFE.. =)

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Posted by mia at 8:39:00 PM

Thursday, June 07, 2007

i was once a bully like you...

Last tuesday I had fun time being with people that I love [aside from my family], my highschool friends the 'bru club' as I call them.. haha ANYWAY, im losing my point... haha =) We were left with nothing more to talk about then suddenly we remembered our highschool days... We reminisced all the pathetic things we've done and all the drama we've been through as a group... *sigh* And its true we really were 'mababaw' back then... =)
****
When I came home, I had my own 'moment' [as what my bru gigay calls it] wherein I reflected on the things I did back in highschool, THEN I REMEMBERED i was NASTY back then... I was the chubby funny girl who was making my classmates laugh by being mean... YES! I was a MEAN GIRL and I admit I was a bully back then... *sigh* It sucks coz when I look back to highschool, I would have hated me. I mean, I was tackless, arrogant, all-knowing, b*tch! YEP! i am acknowledging the FACT that i was all that... I used the weak ones as the laughing stock so that my classmates wouldn't make fun of me...
****
I WAS THE INSECURE ONE... All the experts say about the mean girls, the bullies are TRUE... Those who put other people down are actually the ones who are shy, afraid and VULNERABLE... I was all that in highschool. I wasn't the popular one, the head turner, the 'crush-ng-bayan' type so I used my sense of humor to compensate for my imperfection. SAD but TRUE...
****
When i stepped in College, things changed. I became a little MELLOW... I guess its because of the fact that I am starting a new life in a new school and a new environment, nobody new how I was treated in gradeschool and how my elementary classmates humiliated me... IT WAS ALL NEW... It was a transition actually, the fact that I am getting 'older' made me a little more wiser...
****
I don't know if the people whom I stepped on would actually read this BUT from my heart of hearts I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HAVE PUT YOU THROUGH... I take responsibility for it and I AM REALLY SORRY... I know some of you have already flourished in your respective fields and I hope that you'll all continue to do so... Godbless...
****
And to the other bullies/mean girls out there... =) Take full responsibility of your actions. Try to see what drives you crazy inside. What 'hole' is it that you want to fill? And always remember what goes around comes around...
****
I actually I like what Olivia Gardner said [the young girl who was bullied in school who was shown in the Today Show last June 6] That for every one bad person there are a hundred good persons. =)
****
And that makes me once a bully LIKE YOU... =)
PEACE!
[sorry for the asterisks... my spacing is not working for the nth time..]

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Posted by mia at 7:25:00 PM

Saturday, June 02, 2007

as we go on...

life has never been this challenging for me.. *sigh* These past few months, things have changed drastically... There are have been alot of things to think about, to accomplish and to really dwell upon... Im a kind of person who lives for the moment, and i guess one of its down falls is that there is no room for thinking and analyzing the gravity of the situation. I am open to endless possibilities and i believe that everything happens for a reason, but there are times when i just want to really THINK... =
**
Right now, im about to venture into the real world.. I have a job as a CCR for a call center agency in Alabang... Its funny how things happen so fast that you end up dumbfounded with what just transpired.. That actually happened to me, I took the intervied and the exam around 10 am then I was already hired by 2PM... Yes, it's flattering that I was chosen when a lot of people tried to be where I am right now... BUT i feel like I want to be somewhere else YET i don't know where that somewhere is... *sigh* it sucks! but i know that I am about to enter one of the most exciting moments in my life... and im anxious about it.. hahay! =)
**
There are things that are bothering me... though i really don't wanna dwell on it coz I think its none of my business but in a way its making its way through my veins.. haha =D anyway, i do hope that things will be alright...
**
It's funny how life actually makes a fool out of us... We try to live a life that we think is perfect, yet when we look at other people's lives, ours is actually closer to perfect. [nevermind!]... anyhoo.. Im actually planning to hit the gym soon.. haha im actually excited... hope it will push through... =)
**
Let's go back to December 2006... [nevermind again! hahaha]

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Posted by mia at 9:37:00 PM

Friday, May 11, 2007

pissed off

my feet's swollen [i think!] the f*cking job fair was a load of CRAP... for godsake! i just hate this f*cking day... grrrr! i wanna go home... BUT im still here in Robinson's Galleria... nyway, guess i just have to make sense of my stay here... [whatever!]

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Posted by mia at 5:03:00 PM

Monday, April 30, 2007

I miss my college buddies... haha! [biglang ngemote..] I guess its because of the fact that we've been together for FOUR YEARS... I see them everyday [that includes summer] Just imagine how TIGHT we are... *sigh* I miss my 'autogals'... We've been through it all... the drama, the laughter, the 'bitching', the 'summer curse', the stupidities, the boy-troubles, escapades... [waaa! im about to have a breakdown!] =( I guess all good things have to end.. although the friendship WILL ALWAYS BE THERE... but we have to go our separate paths... ='(

(L to R) Ruth, Dhang, and me

photo taken during our graduation practice =) [wished kring,iya and connie were there]

It was an awesome experience having friends like them... My college life was never the same again... *sigh* =) I LOVE THEM... and i will tell my future kids and my future grandchildren our story and how friendship can make life AWESOME! =)

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Posted by mia at 9:45:00 PM

Friday, April 27, 2007

if they only knew

It's funny how we view each other... Some may envy your looks, your social stature, academic prowess, 'emotional stability' etc. yet in reality there is nothing to be envious about... We have our own weakness, our own strengths and we have to find a way to make them compromise so we could have a harmonious life... =(
*****
What gave me this idea is a actually a friend of mine who texted me awhile ago and she told me that she actually admires me because I get to handle things as if I don't feel sad and as if im some kind of a wonder woman... Well, here is what i can say about that as of NOW, I am vulnerable. I've never been this weak in my 20 year existence... I guess it has dawned to me that I am not actually my 'full person' as of today... I've tried to keep this facade that I am ok and that I can be reached by my friends about they problems anytime... i never thought that it could actually cause something like this... The feeling of extreme weakness... as if i carry the world over my shoulders when it shouldn't be in the first place... ;-( Im not MAD whatsoever I actually feel proud of myself coz I made them feel safe with me... [so don't get me wrong] I guess I just don't want people to think [particularly those who are important to me] that I am always ready to handle their 'blows' though Im always willing to listen to them, but maybe someday there will come a time wherein i'll be one in need... I hope they're still around... ;-)
*****
PEACE!
[my spacing is not working again... grrrr!]

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Posted by mia at 9:45:00 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

me... me... me...

I guess the photo says it all... haha
BUM... one word that could describe me right now... GAWD! this is driving me insane... my girls are not ready to go out yet coz some of them have summer classes... *sigh* I really wanna go out... enjoy the beach and have something worthwhile to do... [grrrr!] anyway, its freakin' HOT outside and that is also one factor why i don't want to leave the house.. [haha!] =) As of now, I have to say "CHILLAX lng muna"... =) Im not really rushing myself into working but as soon as June steps in and there are still no answer from my 'dream job' I guess its time to MOVE ON... =) Im quite anxious about it... [oh for the love of God!!] *sigh* Have to go... i don't want to spoil my whole afternoon.. hahahaha =)



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Posted by mia at 2:00:00 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

How am I?

As of the time being i am BORED... Thank goodness books were created... television reigned supreme and Oprah was always on or I will go NUTS... [do you hear me?! NUTS...] anyway, I am not looking for a job unlike my former blockmates who have applied on call centers, TV networks, Newspapers, etc... Im here lounging around as if money will come my way... *sigh* I never thought that living in the real world is this tough... Im used in spending my folks' money, sleep during the weekends, lounge around, go to school and act smart [haha], and just be a normal teenager [the way society depicts it]... Oh wait! I am no longer a teenager [oh shoot!] im already a young adult and I should start picking my OWN trash and my OWN a** around... [the hell!] *sigh*
*****
I want to be useful again.. and i must admit I MISS SCHOOL!!! [grrr!] I miss beating the deadline, doing my projects the day before [haha!], hanging out with my friends, productions, and all those academic stuff... I hate it when I feel so useless... I want to think... I want to write... I want to recite [Lord! I miss sir Gagalac's recitations, Sir Umali's Prelim, Midterm and Final exams, Thesis making] I feel like my creative juices are starting to lose its 'acidity'.... [f*ckaroo!]
*****
Now it boils down to my current emotional state... [as i call it] Im actually in a balanced state of mind [my own term again!]... i really don't know how I get through the day... i shock myself everytime... =) I guess it just sums up how vulnerable I really am right now... [stinking hormones!] YES! I blame those hormones... sometimes Im high and then i get really low... [am i Bipolar?!] Oh shocks! NOOOO!!! = ... For sure Im just doing my best to take the 'best' out of my boring summer vacation... [GAWD! Its HOT here in the Philippines!!!] Blame it on the carelessness of us humans to Mother nature... [grrr!]
*****
Last Sunday was Earth Day and was also my bez's birthday... soooo...
Bez EURE!! Happy Birthday... =) mua! Lorve you...

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Posted by mia at 10:08:00 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

point blank...

Im about to burst into tears... =(... For what reason? Honestly i have no idea! or maybe I know but I just can't accept it... pathethic huh?! HELL YEA... =( As of now, Im a little sad of my day's outcome... i feel bad that im back to my old ways... Im just not in the mood to be happy right now... its as if i feel horrible... =(
*****
sabi nga ni gigay BITTERGOURD... I guess that is ONE reason why im so 'sad' right now... I feel a little bitter... Bitter about how boring my summer is... Bitter about my dad's actions... Bitter about my LOVELIFE... Bitter about sign guy... B-I-T-T-E-R!!!! i want to feel better NOW... i hate this kind of feeling i just HATE IT... =(
*****
please.. make sense of things... im losing my patience AGAIN... i hate MYSELF! Im getting to excited of things again... hoping then failing in the end.. this is NOT GOOD... =(

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Posted by mia at 8:43:00 PM

Friday, April 20, 2007

im currently in the state of loneliness.. haha [dramatic!] grrrr.. = anyway, i just want to share this email i got from a cousin... =)
what is love to a 4-8 yr old?
1. When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when > his hands got arthritis too. That's love. > Rebecca- age 8
2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths. > Billy- age 4
3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other. > Kari- age 5
4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. > Chrissy- age 6
5. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. > Terri- age 4
6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. > Danny- age 7
7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and my daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. > Emily- age 8
8. Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. > Bobby- age 7 (WOW - get the Kleenex - he'll go places in this ole world.)
9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikka- age 6
10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. > Noelle- age 7
11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. > Tommy- age 6
12. During my piano recital, I was on stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. > Cindy- age 8
13. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. > Clare- age 6 (gotta love her)
14. Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. > Elaine-age 5
15. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. > Chris- age 7
16. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
> Mary Ann- age 4
17. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
> Karen- age 7 (what generation is this kid?)
18. Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn't think it's gross. > Mark- age 6
19. You really shouldn't say I LOVE YOU unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. > Jessica- age 8 (priceless)
And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there. When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
*****
these kids touched my heart... =)

Posted by mia at 8:36:00 PM