Monday, August 20, 2007
adios.
after all this time, FINALLY iam able to update my blog.. wheeew! things have definitely changed and im very much willing to move forward... =) i came into a point in my life wherein I HAVE TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT I CAN BE GOOD AT... [too vague?! GOOD] i never really thought that i could really give up something that i've always dreamt of having and pursuing... i'll definitely MISS the feeling... i know that i came across a point in my life wherein i really made a MY OWN DECISION.. I'll surely miss everything.. = maybe someday i'll be able to stay...
GOODBYE.. =(
Labels: current status =), realizations, sadness
Posted by mia at 8:17:00 PM
Friday, July 06, 2007
check in..
I am now able to say that my Makati experience is FUN.. [coz if I failed I would sing a different tune.. haha] anyway, as I said I am really happy that I was able to pass CCT and may 2 week stay in Makati was all worth it! =) As of today, my wavemates and myself have transferred to Alabang and it's our 4th day in CVG alabang. Another challenge is up ahead and its our evaluations for PST.. *sigh* I hope i'll do good... =
This past few weeks has been very stressful for me... I kept thinking bout my status in CCT, lack of sleep, drain from all the thinking I have to do all day and all the 'commotions' that happened.. Though its actually fun knowing that there is always 'something new' to talk about every morning.. [haha!] =) I've seen quite a few antics that please me and tick me off as well.. A sure proof that people are sometimes funny to watch.. I am no hypocrite that sometimes I feel a little off with some of my wavemates but I don't hold it against them coz that's how they are. I AM IN NO POSITION TO BE A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE... and I do admit I am irritated by some but NOT ALL.. and YES! i also love some but not ALL.. and YES! I ENJOY THEIR COMPANY.. ALL OF THEM.. =)
Diversity is evident in my wave.. We've come from different walks of life and YET we found similiraties from each other's respectives lives.. it is a small world.. its just how u look at it [world/life] that makes it different.. I will never understand the complexities of life BUT i'll try to LIVE with this complexities.. =D
I LOVE LIFE.. =)
Labels: current status =), patheticness, realizations
Posted by mia at 8:39:00 PM
Thursday, June 07, 2007
i was once a bully like you...
Last tuesday I had fun time being with people that I love [aside from my family], my highschool friends the 'bru club' as I call them.. haha ANYWAY, im losing my point... haha =) We were left with nothing more to talk about then suddenly we remembered our highschool days... We reminisced all the pathetic things we've done and all the drama we've been through as a group... *sigh* And its true we really were 'mababaw' back then... =)
****
When I came home, I had my own 'moment' [as what my bru gigay calls it] wherein I reflected on the things I did back in highschool, THEN I REMEMBERED i was NASTY back then... I was the chubby funny girl who was making my classmates laugh by being mean... YES! I was a MEAN GIRL and I admit I was a bully back then... *sigh* It sucks coz when I look back to highschool, I would have hated me. I mean, I was tackless, arrogant, all-knowing, b*tch! YEP! i am acknowledging the FACT that i was all that... I used the weak ones as the laughing stock so that my classmates wouldn't make fun of me...
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I WAS THE INSECURE ONE... All the experts say about the mean girls, the bullies are TRUE... Those who put other people down are actually the ones who are shy, afraid and VULNERABLE... I was all that in highschool. I wasn't the popular one, the head turner, the 'crush-ng-bayan' type so I used my sense of humor to compensate for my imperfection. SAD but TRUE...
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When i stepped in College, things changed. I became a little MELLOW... I guess its because of the fact that I am starting a new life in a new school and a new environment, nobody new how I was treated in gradeschool and how my elementary classmates humiliated me... IT WAS ALL NEW... It was a transition actually, the fact that I am getting 'older' made me a little more wiser...
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I don't know if the people whom I stepped on would actually read this BUT from my heart of hearts I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HAVE PUT YOU THROUGH... I take responsibility for it and I AM REALLY SORRY... I know some of you have already flourished in your respective fields and I hope that you'll all continue to do so... Godbless...
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And to the other bullies/mean girls out there... =) Take full responsibility of your actions. Try to see what drives you crazy inside. What 'hole' is it that you want to fill? And always remember what goes around comes around...
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I actually I like what Olivia Gardner said [the young girl who was bullied in school who was shown in the Today Show last June 6] That for every one bad person there are a hundred good persons. =)
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And that makes me once a bully LIKE YOU... =)
PEACE!
[sorry for the asterisks... my spacing is not working for the nth time..]
Labels: BRU, milestones, realizations
Posted by mia at 7:25:00 PM
Saturday, June 02, 2007
as we go on...
life has never been this challenging for me.. *sigh* These past few months, things have changed drastically... There are have been alot of things to think about, to accomplish and to really dwell upon... Im a kind of person who lives for the moment, and i guess one of its down falls is that there is no room for thinking and analyzing the gravity of the situation. I am open to endless possibilities and i believe that everything happens for a reason, but there are times when i just want to really THINK... =
**
Right now, im about to venture into the real world.. I have a job as a CCR for a call center agency in Alabang... Its funny how things happen so fast that you end up dumbfounded with what just transpired.. That actually happened to me, I took the intervied and the exam around 10 am then I was already hired by 2PM... Yes, it's flattering that I was chosen when a lot of people tried to be where I am right now... BUT i feel like I want to be somewhere else YET i don't know where that somewhere is... *sigh* it sucks! but i know that I am about to enter one of the most exciting moments in my life... and im anxious about it.. hahay! =)
**
There are things that are bothering me... though i really don't wanna dwell on it coz I think its none of my business but in a way its making its way through my veins.. haha =D anyway, i do hope that things will be alright...
**
It's funny how life actually makes a fool out of us... We try to live a life that we think is perfect, yet when we look at other people's lives, ours is actually closer to perfect. [nevermind!]... anyhoo.. Im actually planning to hit the gym soon.. haha im actually excited... hope it will push through... =)
**
Let's go back to December 2006... [nevermind again! hahaha]
Labels: current status =), perst tayms, realizations
Posted by mia at 9:37:00 PM
Monday, April 30, 2007
I miss my college buddies... haha! [biglang ngemote..] I guess its because of the fact that we've been together for FOUR YEARS... I see them everyday [that includes summer] Just imagine how TIGHT we are... *sigh* I miss my 'autogals'... We've been through it all... the drama, the laughter, the 'bitching', the 'summer curse', the stupidities, the boy-troubles, escapades... [waaa! im about to have a breakdown!] =( I guess all good things have to end.. although the friendship WILL ALWAYS BE THERE... but we have to go our separate paths... ='(
(L to R) Ruth, Dhang, and me
photo taken during our graduation practice =) [wished kring,iya and connie were there]
It was an awesome experience having friends like them... My college life was never the same again... *sigh* =) I LOVE THEM... and i will tell my future kids and my future grandchildren our story and how friendship can make life AWESOME! =)
Labels: autogals, friendship, realizations
Posted by mia at 9:45:00 PM
Friday, April 27, 2007
if they only knew
It's funny how we view each other... Some may envy your looks, your social stature, academic prowess, 'emotional stability' etc. yet in reality there is nothing to be envious about... We have our own weakness, our own strengths and we have to find a way to make them compromise so we could have a harmonious life... =(
*****
What gave me this idea is a actually a friend of mine who texted me awhile ago and she told me that she actually admires me because I get to handle things as if I don't feel sad and as if im some kind of a wonder woman... Well, here is what i can say about that as of NOW, I am vulnerable. I've never been this weak in my 20 year existence... I guess it has dawned to me that I am not actually my 'full person' as of today... I've tried to keep this facade that I am ok and that I can be reached by my friends about they problems anytime... i never thought that it could actually cause something like this... The feeling of extreme weakness... as if i carry the world over my shoulders when it shouldn't be in the first place... ;-( Im not MAD whatsoever I actually feel proud of myself coz I made them feel safe with me... [so don't get me wrong] I guess I just don't want people to think [particularly those who are important to me] that I am always ready to handle their 'blows' though Im always willing to listen to them, but maybe someday there will come a time wherein i'll be one in need... I hope they're still around... ;-)
*****
PEACE!
[my spacing is not working again... grrrr!]
Labels: patheticness, rant, realizations
Posted by mia at 9:45:00 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
salamat sa pag-alala
nakakatuwang isipin na maraming taong nagmamahal sau.. sa bawat mensahe na natatanggap mo araw-araw alam mo na may mga tao na nakaka-alala sayo... =) PERO gusto mo na may ISANG tao na magparamdam sayo PERO hindi ka nya naalala... hindi siya nagpaparamdam... saklap noh.. sa dinami-dami ng nagparamdam/nakakaalala sayo yung pinaka-HIHINTAY mo ang WALA... =( nakakaasar PERO wala kang magagawa dahil HINDI KA NIYA NAIISIP... HINDI KA SUMASAGI SA ISIP NIYA... putragis! badtrip noh! haha NGUNIT isa-isip mo na HINDI YUN ANG KATAPUSAN NG MUNDO.. hndi pare! dahil sa ISA na hindi ngparamdam 25 ang PUMALIT... nakaalala, nagparamdam, nagpa-alala sayo na may IBANG TAO NA NAKAISIP SAYO NGAYON...
SALAMAT! may mga tao parin na nagpaparamdam... SALAMAT! meron paring patunay na may pag-asa parin sa buhay... SALAMAT! andiyan parin sila, IKAW, AKO... SALAMAT! nagkakaroon parin ng saysay ang LAHAT... SALAMAT! mga PARECOI!!! =)
Labels: realizations
Posted by mia at 11:08:00 AM
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
the art of WAITING...
Im totally smitten by the movie lakehouse... gawd! (aside from the fact that Keanu Reeves is damn hot! haha) it teaches us the ART OF WAITING... the power of true love and destiny and all those mushy stuff.. hell! it was a feel-good movie... it was ROMANTIC! it made me think (again!) that we really do have to learn to WAIT and really savor every opportunity and moment given to us.. it taught me that being patient in life is something that can lead us to better things to come and things that are really worthy of all the waiting and whining.. (yes! i do whine about being patient!) haha ;) the movie gave way to a new perspective on life...
****
waiting for something, someone, a moment, a spark of something magnificent is a man's way of finding HOPE towards the unpredictable... the future will be our present and having that in mind makes me realize that 'yea!' when my future holds happy, sweet memories with someone or something then IT WILL COME and it will be MY PRESENT BUT not for now but IN THE FUTURE.. its may way of saying that im taking my life a day at a time.. :-)
*****
bumpy roads are up ahead and i know it will always be there and its a part of our existence, that is why i just take everything as a challenge of GREATER THINGS TO COME... its not the end of the road its just the beginning... 20 years and counting, more than a 100 people met, thousands of memories shared, one love lost, and tons of heartache... it all JUST BEGUN...
******
as they say the SAGA CONTINUES... :-) I will never know who i will see today, who i will meet tomorrow and who will touch my heart someday... all i know is that FOR NOW i've learned a new lesson and that is to be patient.. WAIT...
******
i actually watched MTV Homecoming awhile ago and it was actually the one we shot last week in San Mateo Rizal... :-) (we were actually there!! haha) anyway, 'KUYA Herbert' said that he realized that 'may isang bagay talaga na gustong-gusto natin na hinding-hindi magiging atin..' and i totally AGREE! that is another point in life that i just can't totally understand although i try my best to grasp its full essence.. hay! i guess im indenial that's why i just can't totally get it.. (idiot!) haha :-) anyway, its TRUE... ok fine! i guess i've had quite a few experiences that calls for that statement by kuya herbert.. ANYWAY, let's not dwell on the whole thing.. haha (it brings back the bittersweet memories) hay!
*******
another day.. another lesson.. another realization...
********
i guess its time to see the stars...
*********
PEACE!
Labels: realizations
Posted by mia at 8:58:00 PM
Saturday, November 11, 2006
halo-halo
selfishness is one thing that my mom is always telling me to AVOID... Im no saint and I WILL NEVER BE but i try my best to live up to my parents' expectations... i will not be a FAILURE and if it means staying with positive people THAT I WILL DO... i don't want to be miss perfect coz that i will never achieve but i'll try my best to be atleast CLOSE to perfect... anyway, its funny how things go out of hand and there are some things that you can't control.. one of which is our perception of things... what i really want to say is not properly taken by the other person.. its kinda frustrating knowing that there are certain barriers in communication.. hay! barriers tlaga! pasaway... anyhow, there aren't any excuse when you've made a wrong accusation on things...
ENOUGH SAID...
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last wednesday was my first practicum day... BOY! was it F-U-N!!! had a BLAST and im looking forward in attending another event SOON... haha :-) it was an 'its a guy thing' eyeball party held at the Mugen Bar in Metrowalk, Ortigas.. hay my gawd!! had a great time... although there were certain 'bad moments' i still had fun.. there were FREAKAZOIDS, gays, almost naked ladies, CUTIES, YUMMIES, PAPIES, pretty ladies (ahem!), new acquaintances and of course the beautiful bubbles paraiso! the cuties borgy manotoc, ketchup eusebio and john joe joseph.. :-D hay! it was my first official night out.. hahaha :-) reaching the age of 20 and its my first time.. hay! what a weirdo.. hahaha (nevermind what i just said!) even met an acquaintance who reminds me of sam milby... hahaha :-) (oh! wag bigyang kulay!! hahaha) feeling na ba?? hahaha paxenxa na..
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im currently into this book.. its A MILLION LITTLE PIECES by James Frey i guess i've mentioned that book in a previous post.. anyway, i love the book! tried and tested books part of the Oprah book club are must-haves!! harhar :-) and after i finish this book i wanna start on a new one but i still have to look for it.. Night by Professor Elie Wiesel.. ;-)
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i guess i've mentioned before that I LOVE THE ERASERHEADS!! and i already had my dream cd the ultraelectromagneticJAM cd.. haha and my 2 fave tracks as of the moment is the version of imago of the song SPOLIARIUM.. and Francis M's version of SUPERPROXY.. aaaw! (reminds me of something!! haha)
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our thesis defense sked was already released.. ours is scheduled on December 2; 5pm... hay! im nervous.. but we will never know our mistakes if we are 'confronted' by our panelists... haha :-D goodluck to us T-BUDS...
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gusto ko ng HALO-HALO ngayon! lalo na ung galing sa DIGMAN!!! hay! da best halo-halo in town!! hay! just like my new entry.. halo-halo.. :-D
****
PEACE!
Labels: realizations
Posted by mia at 10:10:00 PM
Sunday, October 29, 2006
its MY TIME...
finding yourself... wheeew! that is a tough one.. i mean how can you find yourself when u are actually unaware that YOU were even LOST... i guess that is THE PROBLEM.. hay! there are some things in this world that are way beyond are understanding and sometimes being a predicament identical to others may help boost our understanding on things..
***
HELL YEAH! haha
***
hay! i had my fair share of experience FOR NOW.. i am not saying that I KNOW EVERYTHING coz I DON'T and im no poser.. harhar anyway, i guess i just want to be invisible to some people for a while.. take a breather and have the opportunity to savor the ESSENCE of MY EXISTENCE... im tired of taking care of other people's business.. i mean LISTENING... LISTENING... LISTENING... LISTENING... i know a lot of people tell me that its my FORTE and i even remember ayn telling me back then that "salamat sa pakikinig" and i appreciate that.. BUT i guess its time for me to LISTEN TO MYSELF.. what my heart has been yearning to HEAR, FEEL, SEE.. hay!
**
its my chance to be MYSELF.. to answer to MYSELF and to understand MYSELF.. its not that i will not listen to anyone anymore because it will make matters worst.. haha (labo!) i just want to be FREE for a while.. :-) does it even makes sense to you? i guess not.. hehe but i hope it makes you think.. think about YOURSELF and what you REALLY FEEL... coz its hard to be yourself when you don't even know what your HEART IS YEARNING FOR.. ;-)
Labels: realizations
