Thursday, October 04, 2007
=)
i miss my friends...
i wanna go out..
i am BORED..
Labels: boredom, rant
Posted by mia at 7:49:00 PM
Friday, May 11, 2007
pissed off
my feet's swollen [i think!] the f*cking job fair was a load of CRAP... for godsake! i just hate this f*cking day... grrrr! i wanna go home... BUT im still here in Robinson's Galleria... nyway, guess i just have to make sense of my stay here... [whatever!]
Labels: rant
Posted by mia at 5:03:00 PM
Friday, April 27, 2007
if they only knew
It's funny how we view each other... Some may envy your looks, your social stature, academic prowess, 'emotional stability' etc. yet in reality there is nothing to be envious about... We have our own weakness, our own strengths and we have to find a way to make them compromise so we could have a harmonious life... =(
*****
What gave me this idea is a actually a friend of mine who texted me awhile ago and she told me that she actually admires me because I get to handle things as if I don't feel sad and as if im some kind of a wonder woman... Well, here is what i can say about that as of NOW, I am vulnerable. I've never been this weak in my 20 year existence... I guess it has dawned to me that I am not actually my 'full person' as of today... I've tried to keep this facade that I am ok and that I can be reached by my friends about they problems anytime... i never thought that it could actually cause something like this... The feeling of extreme weakness... as if i carry the world over my shoulders when it shouldn't be in the first place... ;-( Im not MAD whatsoever I actually feel proud of myself coz I made them feel safe with me... [so don't get me wrong] I guess I just don't want people to think [particularly those who are important to me] that I am always ready to handle their 'blows' though Im always willing to listen to them, but maybe someday there will come a time wherein i'll be one in need... I hope they're still around... ;-)
*****
PEACE!
[my spacing is not working again... grrrr!]
Labels: patheticness, rant, realizations
Posted by mia at 9:45:00 PM
Friday, January 12, 2007
they're HERE!
been totally obsessed with GREY'S ANATOMY... =) hay! love sucks... and the line "... so pick me choose me love me..." keeps on running in this plutoed brain of mine... and i was fortunate enough to watch an episode a while ago.. it was about drawing lines (boundaries) and there was this phrase that really sparked a thought.. "there are alot of things we don't know about each other..." (which is TRUE!!) =')....
... I had this conversation with a dear friend and i was talking to her bout some stuff when she suddenly txted something about her special someone and the idea of this certain someone dating somebody else.. so i was shocked that she confided a little about her predicament.. as we continued talking about it, she admitted that she never gave 100% of her true RAW emotions.. i mean, she kept a lot of stuff from us coz "i don't want to share the pain"... i felt bad.. coz i feel like 'im not good enough' to be her friend then i realized that I too kept quite a few skeletons in my crazy closet... then one tree hill gave me this new 'slogan' (haha!) "Truth is a lie... Nobody knows anyone.." =') sad but TRUE.. we've all kept stuff from everyone... and if there is ONLY ONE being that knows us its the ONE UP THERE... =) i know too cliche-ish.. but i guess "late bloomer lng ako pagdating sa mga realizations.. haha"
**** hay ****
i never knew that i will even talk about this but anyway, i feel HORRIBLE... (yes! HORRIBLE) its been bugging me for quite some time now.. i know i shouldn't be overly dramatic about it BUT i can't help it... i MISS this certain person really bad... then as i was going through some stuff, i bumped into something that SHOCKED ME... ='( hay! it sucks.. pakshet!
**** hmmm ****
i should have just kept things to myself... i should have just turned around and walked away... i learned that there is a certain kind of kindess that should be left ALONE... i learned that in this life not all things that make me FEEL GOOD is worthy of my time... i discovered that im STUPID enough to make the same mistake AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN coz i never knew in the first place the lesson that is needed to be learned (until now..)... i know that IAM my WORST ENEMY... i discovered that crying isn't that much helpful nowadays... i learned that HE is someone who will always be my inspiration... I knew in my heart that no matter what i do his voice will ALWAYS resound in my head.. AND lastly, i knew that even if i hide the pain it will always.. always come back to GET ME...
**** i suck.. ****
**** still hoping... BUT i know his happy... ****
**** i'll let him be... ****
**** IAM STILL SMILING **** =)
Labels: rant
Posted by mia at 12:04:00 AM
Thursday, December 14, 2006
curses
its really funny how people tend to mesmerize me on a regular basis... ;) they keep me from maintaning my sanity... if it wasn't for my continuous effort to be around people i could have lost my battle a long time ago... someone actually asked me how old i was, haha kz when asked how was my love life sabi ko 20 years na kong bigo! haha kaya tuloy nagwonder ung kausap ko if i am 'that old' to say such a thing... haha im just 20 years old living a 40 yr old life!! hahaha just kidding! im just well... FRUSTRATED... yes! I AM.. and when people ask me 'how are you?' i always flash the pathetic smile and say 'OK LANG AKO' when in reality IM NOT.. haha weird no! well, atleast NOW im being HONEST... hahahahay!! stupid ass! hehe =) anyway, as i've said im FRUSTRATED...
****
HAY! can i just lose the attitude and just be CARE FREE!!! grrr! i hate the fact Im trying my best to be me and yet its me that is pulling me back... f*ck!! hay.. i can do this! i know i can... maybe not now but in the days to come.. i can do this... i can do this... i can do this... i can do this...
****
tomorrow.. CORRECTION later is practicum day.. i shld be sleeping right now but as usual im doing one of my pathetic entries and yes im cursing again..haha anyway, im waiting for dhang's msg... hehe as if you care! hahahaha (stupid!) should i really be laughing..
****
curse you HORMONES!!!
Labels: rant
Posted by mia at 11:55:00 PM
