is it wrong to think about the possibilities... :-'(
its a question that keeps on ringing on my head...i believe it is the one thing that bugs me every now and then... and iam really pissed off when i can't find the solutions to my questions... :c i must say im too logical when it comes to matters of the heart... i always want to justify the things that are happening around me.. oftentimes, this 'justifying attitude' of mine leads to pessimism.. and when at that stage of my judgment i succumb to loneliness... (that's when everything in the world sucks!) *sigh*
sometimes, its good looking back at 'moments' that made u feel like time stopped and all that mattered was you and the person you're sharing the moment with... i felt that! yes I did! TWICE.. with 2 different people... One, at DLSU-D library's stairs.. Two, in church...
Looking back.. im 'thinking'...
are my eyes deceiving me? does the heart really feel what our eyes are seeing? or is it just the mind who keeps on telling us that something is up.. BUT there isn't anything at all... :'c OR.. they work together to give you the picture of what they see, feel and think... OR they are working together to deceive you and make a total fool out of ourself..
doubts.. pessimism.. are my new bestfriends.. and that sucks! but i can't totally move on UNLESS the answer to my question is FINALLY REVEALED... when will that happen i don't know.. and whether it will even happen is also part of my 'concern/s'...
well.. life is short ( I KNOW THAT!) but i can't help BUT THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES.. haha (kulet no..) i feel stupid just thinking bout it.. BUT! (another but.. sheesh!) I CAN'T HELP IT.. waaah and its making me sick coz, i CAN'T MOVE ON...
thinking bout him and all the 'moments' we had... my gawd! first year pa ko nun!!! waaah wanna know why im going ga-ga over this guy... here we go:
1st yr --> the 1st time i saw this guy.. sa ERS pa un.. with his blockmates and his trusty adidas backpack.. it wasn't love at first sight.. but it struck something.. but i ignored it.. hehehe (wholesome un!)
2nd yr --> pag-aper days... his group was part of the 'maglalatik group' who happens to be the same group that my blockmates (boys) are in.. (ayaw ko ng term na group harhar).. practices were fun coz i get to see him.. i thought sparks flew but im not sure... saw him looking, as if observing.. and the mere fact that he's smiling at me, everything just went BLANK... (and no kidding, even i was shocked!) thought it was just a joke but it happened again.. and again.. and again... --> that same year, i discovered that its a small world after all.. my good friend cheeboi happened to be his classmate.. and gia who was my 'reco-mate' happens to be his close friend... BUT i still didn't knew his name! darn!
3rd yr --> the library moment happened! it was a day when everything just went into place FOR A MOMENT.. and at that time TIME JUST STOPPED... (overly dramatic huh?!) but never felt that way before.. i was on my way down, and he was on his way up.. we met half way and we saw each other up close.. i looked away, hoping he'll do the same, but when i looked back at him, he's eyes met mine, and i knew he didn't looked away... just staring and smiled.. i smiled back and i remember myself frozen.. haha --> saw him again.. it was a fine saturday... he passed by infront of the JFH kubos and when i looked.. he also looked... i was shocked and he was shocked.. i'll never forget his reaction when he saw me.. he gave a second look, a third look and even a fourth look... haaay.. ---> summer came, and i can't ask for more.. just frozen inside the van.. we were close.. occupying each other's personal spaces even if the van is alreay 'maluwag'....
4th yr --> i don't know... i know i'll meet him personally someday.. i can feel it.. i know i will finally discover his name.. on the day OUR YEARBOOK is finally on display.. haha (WTF?!)
thank you.. for reading my craziness.. tell me, am i dreaming...please, help me! i can't bear it any longer... what does all of these mean.. i believe he knows me (by face).. and i believe that at some point in our 'moments' we felt something different.. are we really having the sparks?
there are times when i can't wait to see the face of my prince charming YET at the back of my head i know that
it's not yet time to reveal himself coz im still scared of what lies ahead...
knowing that you've made something that made you satisfied is worthy of all the risks put together coz finally
you've done something that gave you achieve self worth..(whatever) haha...
living a life full of hatred is a life not worth living at all...
life is a game, win or lose its how you play that counts...
why can't people just be who THEY REALLY WANT TO BE... *sigh*
love can be the way of your destruction when you don't know how to use it properly...
what is essential is invisible to the eye~Antoine the Saint Exupery
You are not alone yet you're lonely~ Bru Jae
Turn your wounds into wisdom~ Oprah Winfrey
When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window~ Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music
(1969)
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.~ Oprah Winfrey
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.~ Oprah
Winfrey
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive.
You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the
world."~ Brad Pitt in the Fight Club (1999)
Time drags when we wait, and flies when we're late.~ Brad Pitt in the Fight Club (1999)
[singing] When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most any thing.~ Julie Andrews in the
Sound of Music (1969)
All great achievements require time.~ Maya Angelou
Look for the beauty in things.~ Maya Angelou
There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.~ Maya Angelou
You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter
the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.~ Maya
Angelou
Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not any man’s greed.~ Mohandas
Gandhi
A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave~ Mohandas
Gandhi
But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart~ Chapter XXV of the Little Prince
What makes the desert beautiful," says the little prince, "is that somewhere it hides a well.~
Chapter XXIV of the Little Prince
"Only children know what they are looking for."~ Chapter XXII of the Little Prince
All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love.
Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a
sign of love you bear for your self, all I plead with you is this: make love of your self perfect. Deny yourself
nothing -- glue your self infinity and eternity and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond".~ Sri
Nisargadatta Maharaj
"And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much
you are loved by others". Professor Marvel in Wizard of Oz
What if you wait for your special someone your whole life, and later on learn that no one is really
waiting for you? ..but true love is worth taking chances for... sometimes, you don't know why things work out, they
just do...~from a sms taken from the movie lakehouse
"No life is a waste," the Blue Man said. "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are
alone."~ p. 50 of Mitch Albom's Five people you meet in heaven
